And it gets even more screwed up...

I mean really - how did I get so lucky to have two bad weeks in a row?

And what is so eff'ed up is that I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BE POSITIVE!

wow - so yesterday I get an email out of nowhere telling me that I am talking about them on facebook, and to take it down or they are sueing me for slander.

Ok people -I haven't said a word about anyone

I kindly responded, "i have no idea what you are talking about - please send me a screen shot of what you mean"

Of course I have received nothing except another nasty email that if I don't take it down they are going to the police.

That's nice. Maybe then I will get to see what apparently I wrote. (making circular motion with one hand while pointing at my head)

This same person has been talking to my husband about a family intervention because they have issues with me and they want to address them. (oh by the way - it was my mother that was emailing me above - I can't make this stuff up)

So my husband and mom are talking about me and having this big family meeting. I asked my husband what I did wrong, what exactly is the issue that they want to bring up. He says that my mom wants to talk to me because she thinks I need to work things out with her (i refuse to talk to her after called me names and degraded me and called me a liar about what my stepdad did) and she claims that my brothers don't feel close to me so they never want to come here.

Ok weird, I invite them many times to our house, or the kids recitals and events, or if I am going out with some girlfriends I have invited them to come hang out. They always turn me down....sooooo I guess that reason is they don't feel close to me. Alrightly then, I am not really sure - other than invite them to spend time with me and the family to get close, oh and they don't call me, don't write me, nothing, so I am not sure why they have a problem, as I haven't seen them do anything to fix it.

Oh and I know for a fact that me posting this, is going to REALLY SUPER piss everyone off. Because it's completely ok to talk about me to my husband, and amongst themselves, (and gang up on me) and it is absolutely not ok for me to blog about it to complete strangers.

Where does this leave me? Well I do feel a little better having venting, so that is bonus. (see - I am trying to be positive) - however, I still feel very violated that my best friend - my husband participated in this conversation.

I think I need to address that, and find out exactly how he is feeling or was his participation to stand up for me....

Either way - I feel so damn violated right now.

www.designsbybellaofny.com

With Life there is the Certainty of Death

On the eve of the anniversary of my father's death I reflect on all those moments in between. For those who have lost a parent, particularly at a younger age, I think you can understand the challenges and even silent suffering that occurs. At these age, my biggest challenge is all of the "what ifs".

If my father was still here with me,

would he have been proud?
what kind of grandfather would he had been?
would our relationship, strained at the time, find peace?
what kind of daughter would I have been?
would I continue my anger or forgiven him at some point?
what would his involvement be in my life at this time?

sigh

I miss you daddy, know that I am thinking of you, not just tomorrow, but everyday.

xo - J Designs by Bella of New York